Having been in a relationship for nearly two and a half years, I am constantly surprised by other couples behaviour, and find it an amusing topic to discuss with others. I have always been taught that there are certain elements of being a couple that are inappropriate in a group setting, and I am begging the question of whether you can be too couply?
I always find it interesting to compare the little habits that couples have, but I often find it quite nauseating when you have a couple’s relationship literally thrust in your face with absolutely no shame. I witnessed this recently, and I’m not going to name names, but we were in a large group setting, there were three couples, and I was one of them. My boyfriend and I don’t act overly couply – we hold hands, we sit next to each other and we chat, but we don’t exclude everybody else in the process. The other couples were a lot more open about their affection, regardless of the others having to endure this too. Sitting together is fine, but when you can’t exist without your other half being there, it’s becoming a problem. These couples were touchy-feely, they were draped over their partners, stroking their hair, kissing them constantly, and generally making the room feel a lot more romantic than is necessary at lunchtime. Personally, I feel sorry for the single people in the room. They had to endure this horrific show of affection constantly for a matter of hours, and I’m worried they might think this is normal.
I’m a great believer of the saying “get a room”, and think that certain displays of affection are generally inappropriate for a group setting and may lead to members of the group feeling excluded and nauseated. I also can’t help but think that if you spend your whole courtship stuck to each other, whispering sweet nothings in each others ear and fawning over them, then if you eventually get married, you’re going to be sadly let down. If your partner eventually tires of spending every minute petting you, you will definitely cease to exist as a couple. I was more disturbed that these couples are acting like they are in the first exciting throes of a relationship, yet have been together for years. Have they always been like this? That must be exhausting…
At some point, the relationship is going to have to mature into something that exists on different levels than just touching them up everywhere they go, and if you don’t have anything deeper than that, it’s not going to work out. Whilst discussing the issue with a friend of mine, she was equally as freaked out as I was, and she made a good point. She said “I feel like couples who spend all of their time together doing that are destined for failure – there’s no foundation to the relationship; no guts!” It might be forgiven if it was just the female part petting her man, but it was the men showing all of the affection. Resting your head on your girlfriends shoulder isn’t manly, nor is stroking her hair and kissing her cheek, forehead, hand, shoulder…etc. It’s definitely nice, but not something that should be displayed in public. That’s something for when you have a quiet night in watching a movie, or when you’re celebrating an anniversary or something. I just found it all a bit soppy and alien to me. Okay, they might be the “sensitive type”, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that most witnesses are gagging by your girly behaviour.
If these couples are fuelled solely by their need to show affection all of the time, it’s eventually going to fizzle out. As my friend stated, “If one of them gets a cold sore and can’t kiss for a day or two, the whole thing will just fall apart!”
I can safely declare that I’m not a bitter onlooker – I don’t crave this kind of attention, and I know my partner is keen on me without him having to drape himself over me to show it. I’ve been through the honeymoon stage of the relationship, endured the highs and the lows, and come out at the other end with a better understanding of what’s necessary in a relationship and what’s realistic. Life isn’t a romantic movie; we know you’re a couple, and we don’t need to see it all the time. There should definitely be a boundary line for couple behaviour when you’re in a group setting. Nobody wants to have to avert their eyes because you’ve decided to have an impromptu make-out session on your partners lap, and we don’t want to have to awkwardly sit next to you while you snuggle cozily. If you snuggle too much, you’re going to end up suffocated, and one of you will be gasping for freedom and the ability to sit on the couch without being tackled. I just wish you the best of luck when you have to test your relationship in the real world by living together or getting married, and the constant attention slowly starts to die. You have to learn that if you focus all your attention on one person, you’re going to alienate people, and set your bar far too high. You won’t be able to compete with your own affections in a number of years, and it’s all going to go belly-up.
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